iller-Tiedeman's LifeProcess Theory & Lifecareer Philosophy offers Quantum physics principles useful in your everyday life. When Life is the big career, any topic is fair game, because life direction is not just about work. Therefore, in this post, the LifeProcess principle, less is enough, is introduced by way of a colleague's experience.

Following is an e-mail I received from a colleague. I omitted his name, as it is his learning that I want to comment on. I will make several comments about the importance of the principle, less is enough, and then I invite you to observe this in your daily experience.

Dear Anna,

I really appreciate your advising me nearly two months ago to be mindful about what I share because many will drag you through the landscapes of their emotions. If only I had learned this vital lesson much earlier in life, I would have spared myself a boatload of grief, a bucket full of tears and an untold measure of self-esteem.

Whenever I hear voices in my head telling me that I am worthless or that I can't or shouldn't do something I know to be right, I now realize that those internal voices are not mine but rather the ghosts of everyone from my past life who violated my boundaries because of the cultural permission given those in authority. If only I had trusted myself, my own emotional landscape would be a vast, open field with few barriers, few concerns, hardly any regrets.

The good news is that I finally learned what I should have learned years ago. Though I don't have any children of my own, I can pass this life-saving knowledge to the students I teach.

I think I am learning as much from my tutees, as I hope they are learning from me. I find children to be so grounding. They have no hidden agendas, no schemes. What you see is what you get. Working with them is validating. They truly reflect who I am.

In just a few moments, I need to ready myself for another challenging but fulfilling day in the community.

Take care,

So, what do I mean by less is enough? It’s this simple, less shared means less judgment. Jackie Kennedy is a good example of this. She said very little to the public during her lifetime, and people loved her. Had she been more opinionated, that may not have been the case. When you share any kind of personal information, it hits the listener’s belief system, as well as his or her emotional and intellectual landscape. This sets up two possible outcomes that are as certain as death and taxes: kudos or judgments.

Now the curious part about this is that you may, when sharing, think you haven't ruffled the feathers of your listeners. However, as time passes, they may think differently, and, if this happens in a work situation, they may go so far as to write your employer a scathing letter about it. I had that experience once when I was Director of Admissions at a small college, and a colleague (professor) experienced it once when one of her student’s wrote a scathing letter about her to the university administration.

Not long after my experience, I created a personal policy that less is enough, even down to what I share with family and friends. In the final analysis, family and friends may be better at crucifying you, as they tend to know more about you. Even if they don’t bully you, they often get the interpretation wrong.

Now let’s look at the other side. There are people who actually enjoy baring their soul. They have a tendency to like the drama and the negativity that results. So, less is enough isn’t a one-size fits all. It only fits those interested in reducing personal stress and those who don’t want to donate time to mentally rehearsing the resulting negative feedback. On the other hand, you could be one of those individuals who receive constant praise. If so, this topic isn’t for you.

Finally, the guiding vision for my LifeProcess Theory and Lifecareer Philosophy work is reduced stress. Those who choose the LifeProcess approach recognize that stress weakens immune function, and they’re not willing to donate their good health to transient personal comments.

The next time you have an opportunity, check out the less is enough principle in your experience, and let me know what you learn.

I'm Dr. Anna Miller-Tiedeman, Director of the New Careering Institute, Inc., and I welcome your comments and questions. anna@life-is-career.com